One thing that non-parents don’t understand is that an intense day of parenting can take it out of you just as much, if not more, than a hard day at work. Hey, no one does understand it until they have kids. But after a few (lovely, well-meaning) people told me to have a nice day off and relax when I finished work last week, I thought I would share exactly what I have been up to on my day away from the office, to show just how relaxing and rejuvenating it was.
Hint: not that much.
- Awake at 7:15am, to get showered and dressed ASAP, with a quick shower and minimal make-up. No time to do hair apart from brushing it. That’ll do.
- 7.45 – LP is shouting “Hi” over and over. I go in to get him up, nappy changed and dressed. He has his bottle (yes, I’m the devil, I still allow him a morning and evening bottle at 1.5 years old!)
This guy wakes up ready for business
- 8.15am – I lovingly cook LP and I banana french toast (with mashed banana instead of sugar – wholesome, see?) I serve it with blueberries and chopped strawberries. He eats the fruit and rejects the rest of it, demanding rice crispies instead
- 9.00 am – I wash up
- 9.15am – I put a load of darks on and fold the laundry from Sunday
- 9:45am – I do the ironing
- 10:15am – I start getting LP ready to go out. I pack the nappy bag with LP’s drink, snacks, nappies, wipes, et al. I put his shoes and coat on
- 10:30am – I head to an excellent local drop-in stay and play in Wythall, called Funky Monkeys. I meet an old friend and we enjoy an instant coffee whilst our offspring run around, bounce, pretend to talk to each other on the telephone, pretend to fall over and hurt themselves, scream and finally hide in the little tent in the corner and refuse to leave
- 12:30pm – Drive home and wrestle the child into his sleep bag. Read one round of “Dear Zoo” by Rod Campbell. Make another coffee. Breathe sigh of relief. Eat lunch. Make him lunch. Make a call to the garage. Read a little bit of the newspaper
The zoo has a fairly progressive policy on animal adoption
- 2pm – Child wakes. Get him up, changed, feed him lunch. Wash up. Play with the wooden activity box.
- 3pm – Run out to the shop to buy more nappies before the work week starts, while husband watches child. Husband later refers to this as ‘a break’. In many ways I suppose it was, which is quite sad
- 3.30pm – Wrestle with child. He finds this hilarious. It’s all fun and games until he starts getting overexcited and screams, piercingly, in my ear. He bonks his head on the floor and cries. We cuddle and calm down. I find “Cars 2” on TV which has the desired, mesmerising effect
- 4.00pm – I put the oven on an start roasting a chicken. This involves boiling some vegetables to go with LP’s meal, and finding a recipe for a roast chicken salad for husband and I to eat once he is in bed
- 6.00pm (later than planned) – LP has his dinner. I wash up. I open bottle of wine and pour myself a small glass. It’s fuel at this point
It is possible for an inanimate object to have a halo
- 6.30pm – Husband makes LP a bottle of milk then leaves for Football. LP watches Night Garden while I run the bath
- 7.00pm – I bathe LP. This involves him splashing in only a way that he and baby Shamu know how. I persuade him to have his teeth brushed, or something resembling toothbrushing. I get him dry and dressed and into his sleep bag. Then we read “Time for Bed” – he laughs
- 7.30pm – I put him into bed and go downstairs to make and eat my roast chicken salad, putting some into a tupperware box for lunch tomorrow (which makes me feel extremely virtuous)
Croutons looking a *little* worse for wear but by this point I’m too hungry to care
- 8.30pm – check work emails. Shouldn’t but it makes it easier to get back into the swing of things after 4 days away from the office
- 9.30pm – write blog
- 10:00pm – persuade husband to give me a bite of the ice cream he is finishing
And I will collapse into bed at 11pm. After I finish my second glass of wine, of course 😉